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Work and failure

Effort is yours; the result never entirely is. Careers are built on that gap, and so are most professional crises. Here you practise separating the work you did from the verdict the world passed on it, without letting either one excuse the other.

47 exercises and cases on work and failure, from the Stoic practice of sorting what is yours from what is not.

Cases in this topic

Musonius Rufus and the barest rockWork and failure Cato and the lost electionWork and failure Chrysippus and the unglamorous workWork and failure Arrian and the notesWork and failure Regulus and the promise to returnWork and failure

Cuts in this topic

Take the situation apart. Each piece goes in one box; there is no third option.

The situation

You are passed over for a promotion that goes to your colleague.

Yours

Whether you let this decision devalue your two years of effort.
Whether you congratulate your colleague.
Whether you ask what would have been needed.

Not yours

That the decision was made before you heard about it.
What your manager thinks of your ability.
That your colleague is better at being visible.

Read the full sorting

The situation

You have made a mistake that affects the whole team.

Yours

Whether you report it yourself before somebody finds it.
Whether you explain what happened or explain why it was not your fault.
Whether you change one thing so it cannot happen again.

Not yours

How much work it costs your colleagues to put it right.
Whether your manager holds it against you.
That you feel wretched about it.

Read the full sorting

The situation

Your project is cancelled after a year of work.

Yours

Whether you hand the work over so somebody else could pick it up.The last act in a cancelled project is the only one still adding value, and it is the act most often skipped.
Whether you write down what you learned before you forget it.A year of work produces knowledge independent of the outcome. Anyone who does not record it in the weeks after loses the yield along with the project.
Whether you tell your colleagues what did go well.They worked the same year and now only hear that it is gone. Naming what stood up is small and it is yours.

Not yours

That the money goes somewhere else.A decision by a board with a budget. There is no version of that decision in which your year was decisive.
Whether it turns out to have been a sensible decision.You will know in two years and possibly never. There is no use whatever in proving yourself right about a path nobody walks.
That you are sad about it.A year of work you believed in is not nothing. Feeling it is not a lack of professionalism but proof that you had a view.

The reasoning. With a cancelled project nearly all the energy goes to whether it was justified. That is the left column, and it is closed. On the right sits a week's list: hand over, record, name. Do that and a lost year leaves you something nobody can cancel.

The situation

You miss the deadline because of a supplier's delay.

Yours

How you inform the client and what you build in for next time.Raising the alarm early, being honest about the damage, building in margin or keeping a second supplier at hand: that is your half. Whoever shifts everything onto the supplier learns nothing; whoever takes it all on carries somebody else’s share.

Not yours

That the supplier delivered late.His planning, his problems, his delay: all of that happened inside his company, outside your reach. You can draw a lesson from it about making agreements, but the delay itself was never yours.
Whether the client believes your explanation.You can be honest, be early and send a plan along; whether trust recovers with that is decided by him, at his pace. Whoever wants to force that too starts pulling at something that can only grow.

The reasoning. The delay was his story; what follows is yours. Whoever carries only his own half keeps his hands free to do something with it.

The situation

You land a big assignment and feel the pressure to perform.

Yours

Your planning, your quality, and asking for help in time.Setting up the work, keeping expectations clear with the client, raising your hand before it pinches: all of that can be done today and belongs to nobody else. Big work does not ask for extra tension, only a sharper division of your attention.

Not yours

Whether the end result catches on.How the market responds and what others think of it happens after the work has left your hands. You can influence it with quality, but you cannot steer it; nobody ever could.
The expectations others attach to it.Your client’s hopes, the glances of colleagues watching along: their tension is their share. You only have to carry your work, not their expectation of it as well. Two backs for one load is too many.

The reasoning. The pressure appears when you carry both halves at once, and drops as soon as you lift only your own.

The situation

Your proposal is rejected: too expensive, says the client.

Yours

Your price, your explanation of the value, and your choice of clients.

Not yours

The client’s judgment and his budget.
What the competitor charges for the same thing.

Read the full sorting

The situation

You discover you made a mistake weeks ago that nobody has noticed yet.

Yours

Reporting it now or letting it simmer.This is the only part of the event where there is still a choice, and it is entirely yours. The temptation to stay silent confuses what has happened with what comes next; the first you no longer steer, the second completely.

Not yours

The mistake you made weeks ago.It lies in the past, and no human being undoes anything. It has moved to the box of facts, next to last month’s weather.
How he reacts when he hears it.His shock, his irritation or his shrug: that plays out in his head, and no phrasing of yours determines the outcome. Whoever waits for the guarantee of a mild reaction is waiting for something nobody can give.

The reasoning. The mistake is history; the report is the present. Only in the second do you still live.

The situation

You are handed the tasks of a departed colleague, effective immediately.

Yours

The conversation about priorities.Work is added, so something must go or slow down; that sum is yours to say out loud, with the list on the table. Whoever silently absorbs everything teaches the organisation that it fits, and then complains about a lesson he taught himself.
The silent proof you want to deliver that you can handle this.Somewhere the honour of the indispensable one who absorbs it all beckons. But whoever silently carries double work to prove something ultimately only proves that it is possible. Saying the sum out loud is not weak; it is the only kind of strong that counts here.

Not yours

Your colleague’s departure, and the decision not to replace him.That was taken above your head, in rooms where you were not sitting. The work is there, and indignation does not shrink the pile.

The reasoning. The decision fell without you; the sum that follows belongs out loud, and with you in the room.

The situation

You have made a mistake and your manager does not know yet.

Yours

The moment he hears it, and from whom.Reporting it yourself does not change the facts, but it changes the story around them, and that is the only part in which you still have a say. Every day of waiting makes that part smaller.

Not yours

The mistake, and how your manager will react.The first has happened and moved to the facts; the second plays out in his head. Neither can be steered from your desk.
What he already suspects by now.Maybe he has known something for a while, maybe nothing; what is in his head right now is sealed ground. Every estimate you make is a guess that postpones your report. You do not need to know his knowledge to make your move.

The reasoning. The mistake is history, the reaction is his; only the messenger is still yours to choose, and the best messenger is you.

The situation

You are put in charge of a team that liked the previous manager.

Yours

How you listen, and which agreements you keep.

Not yours

The comparison with your predecessor, and their initial reserve.
What they say about you among themselves.

Read the full sorting

The situation

A customer is angry about something a colleague caused.

Yours

Solving the problem now, and the conversation after.First help the customer on behalf of your organisation, then have the internal conversation with your colleague. Two separate movements; whoever mixes them does neither well.
The indignation that you get to solve this.“Why me, it was his mistake” is a fair question at the wrong moment. It changes nothing about the customer waiting now, and it leaks into your tone if you carry it into the conversation. Park it until the internal talk; there it is in its right place.

Not yours

Your colleague’s mistake, and the customer’s anger.Both already happened, both outside your reach, and defending yourself with “that was not me” helps nobody; the customer is not looking for a culprit but for a solution.

The reasoning. The customer gets the solution, the colleague gets the conversation, and you keep the order; there are no other roles here.

Propositions in this topic

True or false? The answer is given; the reasoning behind it comes with the exercise.

TrueFailure cannot diminish your worth as a person.
FalseYour success lies entirely in your own hands.
FalseMaking a mistake means you have failed as a professional.
FalseIf a customer is dissatisfied, you have failed.
FalseBeing passed over for a promotion is an injustice you must fight.
TrueSatisfaction with how you acted is stronger than pride in the result.
TrueYou learn to act well by doing, not by reading about it.
FalseBeing busy proves you are doing important work.

Situations in this topic

Each situation below is already sorted: yours, not yours, or both. That sorting is the exercise.

Not yoursThe deal collapses at the last moment because the buyer pulls out.
YoursWhether you prepare thoroughly for the meeting.
Not yoursA customer leaves a bad review.
YoursWhether you admit a mistake or cover it up.
Not yoursYou are passed over for the promotion.
Not yoursA reorganization at work is hanging in the air.
YoursWhether you honestly say in the meeting what you see.
Not yoursAfter your job interview, the other side stays silent.

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