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Body and mortality

You live in something that ages, breaks and eventually stops, and you did not choose the model. The Stoics called the body a possession rather than a self. What is yours is how you use it and what you make of its limits, which is a smaller field than we would like and larger than we think.

41 exercises and cases on body and mortality, from the Stoic practice of sorting what is yours from what is not.

Cases in this topic

Marcus and the fifteen years of plagueBody and mortalityPosidonius and the attack of goutBody and mortality

Cuts in this topic

Take the situation apart. Each piece goes in one box; there is no third option.

The situation
Your knee gives out and you have to stop running.
Yours
  • Whether you look for what you can still do.Swimming, cycling, rowing, walking. The looking itself is the act, and it starts on the day you decide there is something other than nothing.
  • Whether you keep hanging your whole picture of yourself on one sport.This is the piece people miss. The joint is not yours, but the sentence “then I am nothing anymore” is a judgment, and judgments sit on your side of the line.
  • Whether you call the physiotherapist today.One two minute phone call. Small, dull, entirely within reach, and for exactly that reason the kind of act most often skipped.
Not yours
  • That the joint is worn.A body is a loan with a timeline of its own. The Stoics called it a possession rather than a self, precisely because it takes no notice of your plans.
  • How quickly you recover.Tissue moves at its own pace, not yours. You can make the conditions favourable and you cannot force the speed.
  • That you miss it.Missing something is not a fault and not a weakness. It is what happens when something valuable falls away, and it does not leave because you forbid it.
The reasoning. On this territory the left column is immovable and the right column is larger than it looks. The body does not negotiate, but between the diagnosis and the picture you hold of yourself there is a space nobody else can enter. Almost all the bitterness around ageing comes from treating those two as one thing.
The situation
You have slept badly for weeks and you notice it during the day.
Yours
  • Whether you stop with screens and caffeine in time.
  • Whether you make an appointment with the doctor today.
  • Whether you adjust the day to what you can manage today.
Not yours
  • That you lie awake while you are tired.
  • How much you actually sleep tonight.
  • That your fuse is shorter today.
Read the full sorting
The situation
You see a photograph of yourself and are startled by how much older you look.
Yours
  • Whether you keep comparing the photograph with the picture of yourself from ten years ago.The shock comes not from the photograph but from the gap with an image you kept yourself. That comparing is an act.
  • Whether you give yourself the care this body needs rather than the previous one.Sleep, movement, food, time outdoors. What your body needs now differs from ten years ago, and acting on that is wholly yours.
  • Whether you count those ten years as something you have had.The same years that changed the face also produced something. Whether you enter that in the accounts decides whether the photograph shows loss or time.
Not yours
  • That you are getting older.The only route available, and the better of the two possibilities. The Stoics called old age not a loss but the shape time takes.
  • How others see you in that photograph.They see something other than you do, usually less sharply and with less history. Their look is beyond your reach and usually gentler than your own.
  • That in ten years there will be another such photograph.It is coming and it will do the same thing. So this is an exercise worth learning properly now, because it repeats.
The reasoning. On this territory the fact sits on the left and the judgment on the right, and the two follow each other so fast that it feels like one experience. The photograph is a fact of a tenth of a second; the story about it can last years. The Stoics would ask what you did with the intervening ten years, and that is a pleasanter question than the one about your face.
The situation
You are waiting at the doctor's for a referral and it drags on and on.
Yours
  • Chasing the referral and keeping track of your symptoms.Calling back politely but persistently, asking about waiting lists elsewhere, noting your symptoms clearly so every conversation gets sharper. And give yourself permission to simply live in the meantime; waiting does not have to be your only occupation.
  • The stories you are already writing about the result.The result will come by itself, on its own day; the advance you take on it now is optional. Living through a different scenario every evening is being ill three times from one examination. The fact needs no dress rehearsal.
Not yours
  • The waiting lists and the pace of the system.That system runs on a thousand agendas of which yours is one, and the result that follows belongs to it too. Anger at a waiting list does not change the waiting list.
The reasoning. Taking charge and patience do not exclude each other: the first is your work, the second your calm. The system does not get faster for it, but you get steadier.
The situation
The doctor is clear: this will not go away. It can, however, be kept bearable.
Yours
  • How you are ill.
  • The little word “still” you start every sentence about yourself with.
Not yours
  • The diagnosis itself.
Read the full sorting
The situation
The results are reassuring, but you will have to take medication permanently.
Yours
  • The faithfulness of taking it, and the story that goes with it.A pill can be a daily defeat or a daily handshake with your health; the box is the same, the judgment makes the difference. And that judgment is written by you, every morning again.
Not yours
  • That the medication is now part of you.The body has spoken, and that decision is not reconsidered because you have an opinion about it. This part is a fact, the way your height is one.
  • What others think of taking medication.The remarks about “chemicals” and “should you really” come from mouths without a white coat and without your blood values. Their opinion of your box of pills is street noise; the prescription is between you and your doctor.
The reasoning. The prescription comes from the doctor; the meaning of the box you write yourself.
The situation
It is the middle of the night and you have been awake for hours.
Yours
  • The circumstances, the verdict about the next day, and seeking help.The screen off earlier, the coffee stopped earlier, and above all: a bad night is a fact, a lost day is a conclusion. And weeks of bad sleep are a reason to have somebody look at it; that too lies within your reach.
  • Counting the hours you can still get.Calculating at three that it will be four at most is a sum that fulfils itself: the counting keeps you awake. The clock has no news for you tonight. Turn it round; it is the only sum that helps.
Not yours
  • That you lie awake.Sleep cannot be forced, and the harder you try, the further it retreats. The night itself lies outside your reach; that is not failure but biology.
The reasoning. Sleep does not come on command; the circumstances under which it likes to come do.
The situation
The physiotherapist gives you exercises that are boring and work slowly.
Yours
  • Doing the exercises, precisely on the days without appetite.That is the only part that influences the recovery, and it is entirely yours. The temptation is to wait until it feels better; it feels better through doing them. This is the dullest place where this whole philosophy proves itself.
Not yours
  • How fast your body recovers.Whether it comes back fully and at what pace is decided by the tissue, not the will. The boredom of the exercises is a given too; recovery is rarely exciting.
  • That recovery is slower than last time.The body of today recovers at the pace of today, not that of ten years ago. That comparison is a debt the tissue never took on. Measure this knee against this knee.
The reasoning. The tissue sets the pace; you only decide whether there is anything for it to make pace with.
The situation
You are getting older and notice something no longer works the way it used to.
Yours
  • Grieving the old version, or looking at what works now.Many people stop entirely because it no longer works at the old level, and thereby lose what was still there as well. Adapting is not defeat; it is the only route that continues.
  • What you say about it when younger people are around.The joke “that is not for me any more” seems innocent, but you rehearse it in front of others, and above all in front of yourself. Words about your body become instructions to your body. Speak of what it can do; it is listening.
Not yours
  • That the body changes, and that some things are over.No negotiation is possible there; the years keep counting, even when you stop counting along. This part asks acceptance, not battle.
The reasoning. The old version is not coming back; the current one stands ready with years of service ahead. Choose which of the two you continue with.

Propositions in this topic

True or false? The answer is given; the reasoning behind it comes with the exercise.

Situations in this topic

Each situation below is already sorted: yours, not yours, or both. That sorting is the exercise.

Practice this yourself

Yours, Not Yours · A Stoic practice ground · All cases · Questions or suggestions