A friend asks to borrow money and you hesitate.

Take this situation apart. Each piece goes in one box: yours, or not yours. There is no third box, and almost nothing falls in one piece.

Yours

The decision, the amount and the terms.Within friendship, lend only what you could miss as if it were a gift. A clear no that keeps the friendship is possible; a murky yes often costs both: the money and the friendship.

Not yours

Whether he repays and how he handles the money.From the moment of handover the money is in his hands, and so are his choices. Whoever wants to supervise that buys a guard’s job along with the loan.
The reason he needs it.His story, and the choices that led up to it, are not up for review before you are allowed to give. You judge one thing: whether you can spare this amount. Whoever first wants to inspect the asker’s past is no longer a friend but a bank.

The reasoning. Lend like a giver or refuse like a friend; everything in between turns the friendship into a debt collection.

He who gives should at once forget what he gave; he who receives should never forget it.Seneca

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