In the year 175, emperor Marcus Aurelius received word that his most trusted general in the east, Avidius Cassius, had declared himself emperor; a false rumor had spread that Marcus had died. The empire stood on the edge of civil war, lit by a man he considered a friend. Marcus marched out without preaching hatred; according to tradition he hoped to take Cassius alive in order to forgive him. It never came to that: after three months Cassius was killed by his own officers. Marcus had the conspirators' letters burned unread and treated Cassius' family with mildness.
Being betrayed by a friend while the whole empire watches. The obvious route is revenge; everyone would have understood it.
The betrayal, the rumor and the revolt: done, and therefore no longer his. His was only the answer. He chose the answer that fitted his character rather than his wound, and even burned the evidence that could have fed resentment.
If someone let you down today in front of everyone: which part of your reaction would be about them, and which part about who you want to be?
Yours, Not Yours · A Stoic practice ground · All cases